~ BUSY AS A BEE ~

As usual, am busy as a bee. With everything that went all at once, am kinda got caught up with all these. Sighhh... seriously... I really do need a vacation. Everyday I imagine myself lounging by the beach and soaking in as many as UV rays that my skin can take. Probably till I turned into a cooked turkey on the 4th of July... :P

Coming back to my little story here, I met one of my master class's classmates yesterday & she told me that she's been coping the stress through retail therapy, be it live or through the net. Come to think of it, I've been stocking up with books that I've bought through online like there's no tomorrow. In my wildest imagination, I'll be reading all these books till the end of this year!Aaaahhh... How I wish... but then again... nahhhhh... Reading books only??? This must be stress talking now (yeah... right... :P)

And so, the race is on to finish all these works that have been stacking up consistently since probably adam & eve's time. Basically, it's due to my own procrastination but that is another different story! :P

~ CAN YOU DUET? ~

So you think you can duet? Better still can you sing? I mean, really really REALLY sing well? Last night was the grand finale in D' Junction and what a blast it was. 

For one, the parking was full to the MAX! Not to mention the weather was not really in favour of the event. Or maybe I should be thanking the rain god cos if it doesn't rain yesterday, there'll probably be twice NO parking. Aiyaaa...

So, there we went into the venue & whad-da-ya know... it's full to the brim! (Should have taken the hint from the amount of cars parked every where...even in front of the rubbish collection area... eeuuuwww...). We even ended up sitting near the toilet (doiii... of all the places.. haha) but should be thankful that at least I don't have to sacrifice my poor feet for the sake of beauty (hey, it was Friday nite & we girls who are height-challenge MUST wear high-heels. I repeat MUST...  :P )

I saw all the contestants sang their hearts out & was thinking to myself, "woahhh... they're so brave man...". To sing in front of a big crowd plus the 'cheering & booing' takes lots of guts & for that, I salute them all. In my eyes, they're all winners regardless whether the performances were great, good or plain boring. ;D

So, cheers to all the winners last night and hope to see you or some other new contestants next year. 

p/s : Oh... forgot to mention, the winner took RM5k! Kinda easy money but then again, nahhh... I'll pass. Psssttt... Maybe if the price was 10k or above, I know I'll be the first one lining up begging for the form. hehe.. ;P

~ MY MAMA SAYS BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY ~

Yup... yup... It's so true. Been told most of my lives but at times am so guilty of not practicing it. During uni days, always forgot to take my breakfast. Sometimes because of "less" money (students' lives... ;P) and also plain lazy (need beauty sleep, my bed so warm & nice, I really don't want etc...).

Since I started working, I've tried my best to curb my "eveeelll" ways... haha.. So, I started practicing taking my breakfast everyday. Sometimes I will go and haunt my normal "kedai" (Ah vui, Sri Keningau, etc... just to name a few) and when there are days that I am plain lazy, this is what I usually take; BISCUITS!!!

Yeah... kinda NOT healthy but I love it. It's even better if it's choco favour. Lurveeeee it soooo much. Oh... Plus some hot drinks. Hot milo or teh-o sui would be sooo nice...

Talking bout this, I think I better get my butt off & head for the pantry. Gotta stock up with some hot breakfast before facing my darling students. ;D

~ NEW YEAR, NEW RULES ~

Came to the office just now & was delivered with "shocking" news!

MEMO: PENGASINGAN TEMPAT DUDUK PELAJAR DI KAFETERIA DAN GERAI MENGIKUT JANTINA???!!

 

@#$%^&*!!!! What on earth was this new rule about??? Who the hell came up with this BRILLIANT piece of crap? I thought we're living in this modern society & still someone came up with this piece of @#$%^^&*!

 

It's enough that we've made our students suffer with all these rules & regulations but to have to endure this kind of rule from such a short-minded person is way beyond my simple comprehension. Common lah, we're in IPTA bah... why do we have to reduce ourselves to below than 'kelas kambing'? Worst! It's our own people who presented this self-righteous rule. Aaisshhh... I really hate this current development happening here right now. For ones own personal agenda, the whole society perish along with it.

 

Now, I can't help but feel so sorry for my students. To be subjected to such a degree of oppressions is so sad. Yes... I had to use the word "OPPRESSIONS". Doesn't it fall under this category? Wasn't it enough that we had made the students suffered so far? Do we REALLY need more rules like this?

 

I can't wait to see the next development. I can smell 'fireworks' in the making!   

~SPRING CLEANING~

Was browsing my blog and found that some posts were just OTT. #$%^&*! What was I thinking? Yikes!!! Embarrassing to view & realize that probably a 10 year old is a much better writer than I am. Sighhh... So, the major questions are a) how do we improve on our writing? b) What are the tips and strategies in making your writing a masterpiece (well... even if it's only for your eyes... ;p ).

Browsing, browsing & brows-sing... I found this article on "How to improve your English writing in 5 minutes" (http://www.antimoon.com). Wahhhh... I am impressed! Yipee... There is a solution to my dilemma after all. I can forever banish my oh-so-not-posh of writing skills and now become J.K. Rowling (the second or was it the third??? hmmm...) in a matter of 5 MINUTES...

The article gave an example of 'Michal's story', first written in an ugly way and then voila... transformed the same piece into the perfect version. Basically, the article stated that you can prevent yourself from writing ugly if you practice these steps:

a) Be careful with spacing & capitalization (ehh??? Ok... moving on to the next step).

b) Your "You" & "I" (knot help if i need 2 text 8ter - Dang! Is that the way people text nowadays???? Pening! Help!)

c) After every comma and every period, there must be a space in it (I was like... Really??? Really really??? You sure bout that? I tot it was auto-pilot to have spaces or more in your writing).

And lastly (moi favourite!!!)

d) Use the "Spellchecker" (works wonders every time... haha)

Jokes aside, I think it was a good attempt that this site highlighted these steps in improving your writing. I personally think that when it comes to this, there is no shortcut. Life may be on the fast lane (fast food, fast this and fast that) but there are still some things you cannot 'fast' them. :)

Still, my journey towards discovering the steps & skills in better writing continues... i will make sure u & i will x zzz 2nite cos we hv work 2do. (aaarrrggghhh... brain freezes a bit after writing that short text!)

P/s: Some of you might think that 'this' writer is kinda stuck-up with her comments on people writing short text especially through sms but due to her position as an 'educator' or 'sigu', she really cannot tolerate bad writing (though she herself made a lot of grammar, etc miostakes -see... told ya! ;P)

~OF DISSERTATION & DEFENSE PROPOSAL~

Have you ever feel that although you've prepared everything, but still you've turned out a failure? Aisshhh... That's what happened when you thought you're invincible just before panic attack sets in to rock your world.

I kid you not! It's not a laughing matter! But come to think it back, it was kinda funny;  me doing the hokey-poky moves and the "esteem" panels with their 'confused what-is-the-matter-with-this-girl-&-why-is-she-talk & laugh-at-the-same-time' look.

The experience really scared the hell out of me. Defense proposal is no laughing matter but it is a must process for every researchers out there. I got it but somehow my brain  tricked me into believing i was Einstein. :P

I even made check lists so I won't forget anything. Here are basically my lists that I've copied back from the "REAL" one since I myself got a fright of how doctorish my own hand-writing can be.  :P

Power points - checked

Speech, bla bla bla - checked

Hair (shampooed this morning) - checked 

Clothes (ironed the nite before) - checked

Shoes, bag, makeup kit (eh??? essential for every ladies just in case you've got lipstick stain on your teeth.. hehe), etc - checked

And the lists went on & on & on. Then again, I forgot to checked the one thing that matter the most; I forgot to bring along my brain with me that morning. Haissshhh...

So, what did I get from this whole mind-blowing-not-to-be-miss experience???? Simple. No matter how prepared you are or how 'Einstein' you feel that day, one thing is for sure, 'Mr Panic' can attack you anytime, anywhere. 

P/s - To the wonderful panels. I sincerely am sorry for the "torturous session" that both of you have to experienced. hahaha... But I would also like to express my gratefulness for the informative & straight-to-the-point critiques given  by them. I may not be Einstein now (much less Creswell, etc... huhu) but at least I am aspired to be Wonder Woman in the future... Just kidding! ;P

 

2011

It's a brand new year. Again, life gets the better of me & i ignore my own blog. Oppsss... Apalah u dis... guilty as charge! ;P

Thus, this year... I'll pledge NOT to plan anything but just let destiny flows like the wind. In other words, malas suda mo buat janji plastik... hahaha...

~ I DON'T THIS, I DON'T THAT, I DON'T WANT ~

It is unfortunate when you constantly glue yourself with negativism. You tend to view the world and its people as if they have some ulterior motives to get at you. Call me optimist but hell, I really don't get this kind of people. Why should you be so obnoxiously rude when you haven't even given a chance to that person to proof himself/ herself? Don't you think you might just jump straight to Z by assuming the background of that person when you haven't even talk to that person?

Sigh... I just don't get it? This childish behaviour has gotten up to some degree of stupidity. Time to grow up my friend. Oh... and in the process, please DON'T be rude. It doesn't go well with your makeup!

~ CRAPPY FEELING WITH A CAPITAL "C" ~

It's one of those days that you feel so NOT on top of the world, where you feel like bashing up people like nobody's business. Hell... I feel like bashing myself up now.

I've just realised that I'm not so immune to people's mechanism after all. I seriously thought I was invisible but sighhh... I'm human after all. What do I do in cases like these? I'll usually clammed up myself and refused to even have the remote interest of entertaining the matter. However, I also found out just now how creative I can be in pursuing the matter, MY way.

I just gleefully make the matter worst by using the word "guilty". Ahhhh... Somehow, my day's not so bad after all. Now... I can just sit back and relax and see how the "guilty" cringe like a worm into the center of the earth.

Oh... I know I'm evil with a capital "E" right now. Hell... the title should be Evil theme for all I care but am not so evil that I don't even smile to the world. Then again, being civil by giving a big fat smile is in itself evilness in the making.

Oh... guilty is so in today... No need to be angry... just get EVEN... :P

p/s - author's mood is REALLY evil right now she doesn't have any sane thoughts in her mind other than making the world feeling guilty as hell... :P

~ LEARNING (AND TEACHING) AS WELL AS YOU KNOW HOW: WHY IS IT SO VERY DIFFICULT? ~

Been reading the first of the many parts of this wonderful article by Dick Allwright, as part of the coming lecture this Sat.

Here are the things of what I've discovered so far. Learning (and teaching, mind you) is so hard! You might think that you've done a great job when in actual fact, your students have no idea what you've been babbling all this while. Sigh... How can we solve this problem that is basically not only face here but probably (sic) also by millions across the globe.

Call me ignorant (unfortunately, i am! Sigh...) or a fool but all these while, I've been under constant illusions on the greatness of my teaching methods. Although deep down inside me, the seeds of doubt are constantly worming itself to the surface, unfortunately (here we go again... Sigh!) I've happily been suppressing it, again and again and again.

I wonder, what do my students think of me? I wonder, why have i been thinking that mostly all of them are not capable of any sane rationale thoughts. They're probably more intelligent compared to any one of us but their situations might not permit them to fully developed their potentials as learners. Alas, the word under- representing themselves will haunt me for the rest of my lives! (melodramatic is so in season now... :P)

Well... enough for now. There are more drama, self- pondering, self-loathing and all the selves in the world that i need to think about while reading the next part of my "self-discovery" journey to the NOT so-great-after-all me... :P Will write my next thoughts after digesting the bit of info later.

Have a nice day and adieu for now. :D

~ As we forgive those who sin against us ~

What better way to do then to forgive those people? Yes. It's a better option than ruining others. No ones' religion preaches its followers to destroy others.

Thus, let us all forgive and forget. Just pray for them so that they may find the light.

~LIFE'S TOO SHORT ~

Read bout Brittany Murphy on the news. She's gone at such an early age. Such a lost since she has so much potential in her. My prayers will always be with you, Brittany. May you rest in peace.

~ STUCK ~

Am stuck with my proposal now... huahuahua... Too many ideas in my head and a very BIG problem translating it in writing. But then again, it's just me being procrastinating until the last minute. Should ban this word from my life's vocabulary. At least it'll do me so much good in this life.

I'm thinking a lot these days. Life, family, friends, etc... One thing for sure, am much more alert on people who says one thing but did another thing. Am so wary of these type of individuals that if possible, can i delete them permanently? :P

Oh... mood swings are a no no for me as well... Sigh... unfortunately, am also having the tendency of being guilty of this offense. Maybe if i just be someone who just keep quite and be the wallpaper, i'll probably be happy. But then again, knowing myself, i don't think that's such a good idea at all... Dang... scrape that.

Hmm... How to be someone who is not the above lists but still remains true to yourself? Sighhh... 2010... I'll be transforming myself like a transformer. Question is, which transformer cartoon should i be? Optimus Prime or Bumble bee? woahhh... Better stop this craziness... :P

~EXAM... OH... EXAM~

After a long... long.... LONG.... time of not having to see this, today, on the 29 November 2009, I've came face to face with this dreaded word. Oh... How i do NOT miss this at all, not in a million years, and for sure not forever.

As one of my lecturers said... "Anda menuju ke arah kebinasaan. Sepa yang mo berhenti???" :P

But, since I've set my mind on it, there's no turning back. Even though I'm obviously kicking and screaming on the top of my lung, screaming "What's going on?" And I say heyyyyy.... (Hehe... advertisement skijap)

Right... Back to this story. I've been pretty busy this second half of the year. A lot has happened. Some were best not to be remembered at all but mostly, I've been blessed. Among the many blessings given to me is continuing my studies. It is true what they say that you have to constantly challenge yourself to the max. No point in living if you are just staying in your comfort zones. You need to evolve especially in terms of your mind. Static minds bring static lifestyle = why are you sooooo boring??? (Sorry guys... pondering to myself... AGAIN)

My mind's full of ideas, as usual. However, somehow... I've noticed that it's not the same way I've been thinking before. I'm much careful with what I am trying to say to people, my ideas must be based on facts, etc... Grrrr... I'm officially heading to this ---> PHD (Permanent Head Damage!!).

So, tomorrow's going to be the last day of November before we know it, it's Christmas! Yay!!! So looking forward to it. Just want to chill out and relax and not think of anything, especially that word above. Huh!

Right... Now where's my other books??? Need to "read till I drop" for another paper is coming soon and I haven't started a thing! Sighhh... Another long night to go. Wish me luck!

4.57 am

I am sooooo sleepy and yet I have not finish even an inch of this assignment.... Sighhh... As usual, my last minute mentality is to be blamed. I soooo don't want to do this again. EVER! Sighhh....

~ CHOICES ~

Sometimes in life, you have to make lots of choices. Some are easier as A, B, C. Say example, choosing whether you want that chocolate cake or that cheese cake. Yup... I know. Both are hazardous for your health (not to mention your waistline) but they're both so yummy! In case you're wondering, I'll have that choco cake anytime, puhlezzz... :P

Unfortunately, most choices that you have to make or made are like life and death. These are the choices that at times will determine the path or course of your life.

Am now at that crossroad of making the right choices for myself. Should i take this so- called golden road? Or should i take this path that not many are willing to make?

Either way, with the state of my mind, everything kinda suck at the moment. Not enough sleep and not enough food could do very beautiful wonders to your psych. However, not enough food too could also be good for your body. :P

So, what will i do next? God knows what I will decide but i hope whatever my next step is, it'll be the path that i am sure of. A path that i'll decide on my own.

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P/s - These few entries have been more on the melancholy emotions that am experiencing at the moment. I am at a period of time where so many choices are presented to me on a golden platter. I do hope that i'll be able to weather this phase in my life. So, bear with me till i am sane and well again. But then again, maybe it'll take few more theraphy sessions through my blog. Huaaaa...

EMOTIONAL IMBALANCE

Suffice to say, i am emotionally wreck now. Why do i feel so down all of a sudden? Feels like crying the whole time. Sepa juga lah yang mo pb nie? Mati lah juga.

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LOST IN TRANSLATION

If someone told you that life is just a piece of cake, make it chocolate cake, they might be right. But then again, it might just be crap.

Life sucks at the moment. Just couldn't stand it any longer. I just wish i could just run away, far far away from reality.

Some might say i think too much and they might be true. I think too much and i feel too much it hurts so bad.

Please... Just let me be... Be free from this sick mind of mine.

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Frame of mind at the moment: Enda keruan tapi masih stabil.

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~ NO MORE LAST MINUTE MANTRA~

SELF- MANIFESTATION OF A
"NEARLY THERE" GAL

Tonight seems to be idea-making day. This post is just a reminder to "moi" to start planning my work and not wait till it's too late.

I would like to quote a professor of mine, who gave a lecture on time management.

"IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, YOU PLAN TO FAIL".

That, my friends, are way too scary for even a procrastinator like me.

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~A NEW BEGINNING, A NEW START~

After all the tragedies this few months, there is actually a silver lining on the horizon. So much sadness and pain but alas, the outcome is so worth it.

I would never have guess that after all this time, my life path would be something so different from my imagination. There are things that I've wished I've handled it differently, but come to think of it, nope... would never trade these experiences at all.

I am more mature in my way of thinking. Not old, mind you, but more at peace with my way of thinking. How funny it is to be writing like this when before, I could not even comprehend this form of expression.

Well, suffice to say, embrace your life with a smile. There are times when it'll sucks but if it doesn't kill you, it'll only make you stronger.

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